Friday, July 30, 2010

I'm growing

Can’t believe that I already staying alone in Nilai for 5 months. I had learned to be more independent. From the first month I stayed here everyday I was crying to my ex and felt so lonely. I think he was mad too.Lolx…
Since last month, a lot of unhappy issues between he and I happened in the same time.I’m absolutely upset and don’t know what to do.First I felt guilty I thought I came here to be a cabin crew is a wrong choice,it caused our relationship became worst and worst.I felt so sorry before.BUT now,I’m a wake.Most of the issues are not because of me.I always remind myself “He is not the one that I knew already,he had changed because of somebody,not worth to make myself suffer any more.” This is the way I have to think. I still have long long way to go,u are one of my lesson to make me grow. Too many rumors about u,are they lying or u? Anyway that’s not important any more,the most hardest part had gone through.I did gave u chances before,but u are not appreciate,NOW u want it back,is that too late?I can’t answer.The thing I can only say is “I did love u,but I don’t want to take risk any more,no more hurt from u.” I have to protect myself to avoid getting sad from u because of her. U need someone who know what u want and let me go.Don’t be so greedy and lying.Others might not care bout that,but me,sorry  NO sharing!
Well …Nilai is a no life.What I can do is only on9 and hang out with friends.That’s why I don’t mind to take 1 hrs ++ to get to KL.Hahaha…   Recently I got my first full salary,it’s cool~ Feeling excellent to get my own earning money.I spent happily give some to my parent siblings and get my own asset…my small Viva car. My friends told me ,for a 19years old girl can do this kind of staff is consider very proud.Are u sure? I don’t know. I just do what I should do,cause I know myself very well,I know what I want.
Now,about my little Viva.Last few days my mum and cousin drove “him” from Ipoh to Nilai to me.It was so touching…appreciate.My cousin brother purposely went to Ipoh and brought my car here and my mum was following as well. What I can say is “Thank u Thank u and Thank u...” Mum I do love u so much.